Entries Tagged as 'Chugs and Jugs Jokes'
Beer is Better than Women Because…Posted on July 6th, 2007 by admin
You can enjoy a beer all month.
Beer stains wash out. HANGOVERS go away.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
A beer is always wet. beer doesn’t care when you come.
Beer doesn’t mind being in the “wet spot” that IT left.
When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn’t worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn’t go crazy once a month.
Beer labels don’t go out of style every year.
Beer doesn’t have cold hands/feet.
Beer doesn’t demand equality.
Beer doesn’t have a lawyer.
Big, fat beers are nice to have.
Beer is easy to get into.
Beer doesn’t live with its mother.
A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission
Beer tastes good
A beer won’t make you pick up some tampons when you go to the supermarket
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Why Men Are Happier Than Women
Posted on April 1st, 2007 by admin
Men are just simply happier people, and here is why…
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Comedy Goldmine!
Posted on March 21st, 2007 by admin
So A Drunk Walks Into A Bar…
Posted on March 11th, 2007 by admin
There was a guy, and he was kind of stumbling around town, slightly drunk. He walks through the front door of a bar, and calls for a beer. The bartender arrived, and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t serve you a beer, because it appears that you have already had one too many,” and he offers to call a cab. The guy said no, and walked back out the front door of the bar.A few minutes later, he walks through the side door of the same bar, sits down, and calls for a beer. The bartender says, “I can’t serve you a drink, because you’ve already had too much,” and again offers to call a cab. The guy swears, and walks back out the side door of the bar.
A few minutes later, the guy walks through the back door of the same bar, sits down, and calls for a drinkr. The bartender came and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t serve you a drink because you’re already drunk! Now I call a cab, or I call the police!”
The guy looks at the bartender, and says, “Dang! How many bars do you work at?”
The Fishermen and the Genie
Posted on March 10th, 2007 by admin
Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an engine failure. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going idiot! Now we’re going to have to piss in the boat!”
Joke of the Day: Beer makes men turn into women?!
Posted on March 8th, 2007 by admin
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
